I now know why my mother wanted quiet when she first got home from work. I recall being so excited to see my mother every time she pulled in the driveway coming home from work. I, along with my younger brother and sister, would meet her at the front door with smiles and in need of hugs. Most days she would push us away and go into her room and close the door. Over the years, I simply found a place to put that attention I was seeking.
The past couple of years, with my sending the kids to Kansas City to visit their mother and father, I have been given that silent time every mother seeks without feeling guilty. See, when my nieces run to the door to meet me I stop and give hugs and ask how their day was. But I always looked forward to the summer when I walked into a quiet home and laughter barren foyer.
Upon realizing I was not sending them away, I directly announced to everyone, “I am still having my summer vacation!” Probably like most mothers, I usually don’t keep my word when it comes to “taking care of self” so I created a Summer Bucket List for me to strive for. The list may grow but so far this is what I’m committed to:
(1) Swim in the river. (I have refused to swim in a river or lake my whole life BUT I will get in the ocean any day! Don’t ask because I don’t have an answer…)
(2) Go away for my birthday weekend. Philly, Miami or a beach somewhere!
(3) Wear a two piece bathing suit. (I can’t remember the last time I did that! But one goes on by Sept.!)
(4) Take a mega bus trip to a city I haven’t been to and explore… solo.
(5) Create the space/time to finish my book. (Been working on it for five years now… it’s about time!)
(6) Get new headshots. Actually have a new photo shoot to have a new selection of photos for publicity, etc. (You say this isn’t a big deal… it is to me because I will have to submit those headshots right? I will have to post those new pics for photo opps somewhere right? It’s all about a subtle motivation people!)
So far that is the terrifying list I have created. I deserve it. No, I need it. To all the moms with a cheerleading squad greeting you at the front door, I support you creating that space needed to continue to develop you as a person. Where’s your summer bucket list moms?!