Tag Archives: #mothersday

Summer Bucket List

I now know why my mother wanted quiet when she first got home from work.  I recall being so excited to see my mother every time she pulled in the driveway coming home from work.  I, along with my younger brother and sister, would meet her at the front door with smiles and in need of hugs.  Most days she would push us away and go into her room and close the door.  Over the years, I simply found a place to put that attention I was seeking.

The past couple of years, with my sending the kids to Kansas City to visit their mother and father, I have been given that silent time every mother seeks without feeling guilty.  See,  when my nieces run to the door to meet me I stop and give hugs and ask how their day was.  But I always looked forward to the summer when I walked into a quiet home and laughter barren foyer. 

Upon realizing I was not sending them away, I directly announced to everyone, “I am still having my summer vacation!”  Probably like most mothers, I usually don’t keep my word when it comes to “taking care of self” so I created a Summer Bucket List for me to strive for.  The list may grow but so far this is what I’m committed to:

(1) Swim in the river. (I have refused to swim in a river or lake my whole life BUT I will get in the ocean any day! Don’t ask because I don’t have an answer…)

(2) Go away for my birthday weekend.  Philly, Miami or a beach somewhere!

(3) Wear a two piece bathing suit.  (I can’t remember the last time I did that!  But one goes on by Sept.!)

(4) Take a mega bus trip to a city I haven’t been to and explore… solo.

(5) Create the space/time to finish my book. (Been working on it for five years now… it’s about time!)

(6) Get new headshots.  Actually have a new photo shoot to have a new selection of photos for publicity, etc. (You say this isn’t a big deal… it is to me because I will have to submit those headshots right?  I will have to post those new pics for photo opps somewhere right?  It’s all about a subtle motivation people!)

So far that is the terrifying list I have created.  I deserve it.  No, I need it.  To all the moms with a cheerleading squad greeting you at the front door, I support you creating that space needed to continue to develop you as a person.  Where’s your summer bucket list moms?!

Five Ways to Re-Member Yourself

The alarm goes off on your nightstand.  You hit the snooze button, stay in the bed and begin to race your entire day through your head.  ‘Take a shower, the iron is in the basement so wear something that doesn’t need ironing, wear sandals today (wait, how is your toenail polish?), gloss or lipstick today?’  All these thoughts come to the front of the day and then a knock on your bedroom door… ‘Can I come in?  Can we have French toast for breakfast?  Can I use your phone charger?  Do I have to go to swim class today?’   Now your priorities have shifted once again… and you still aren’t out of the bed.

This is the typical day for any single working mom.  And in my case, a writer/artist and newly active aunt of five.  My life became guided with demands and needs from other people.  I had to abandon my “in the spur of the moment” lifestyle and be more proactive.  I now had to plan meals (actually write a grocery list), wash loads of clothes, comb four heads instead of one, add teachers, guidance counselors and coaches to my speed dial and so much more.

I recall one of the first days a cousin of mine volunteered to get everyone out of the house.  I sat on the couch and couldn’t think of the first thing to do for myself.  I could’ve written two pages worth on what I needed to do for the kids.  Believe it or not, it actually took me some time to figure out what I should do with myself while the kids were away and I found myself writing some of my former past times in my journal.

So, when you get that afternoon or evening alone and want to clear your head and escape all of your “to do’s” for everyone else, try these five things to re-member yourself.

(5) Pay back to get back!  Be conscious and in the moment and give sincere compliments to total strangers.  Their immediate and genuine eye contact with you will be very connecting.  Additionally, on the back end you’ll get compliments in return when you least expect it.

(4) Get lost in a bookstore or even the local library.  Look through the pages of your favorite authors new book.  Pick up a magazine and be entertained with the latest fashions and/or entertainment news.

(3) Find a bench and people watch.  You still get a lot of motion around you but you are not involved.  Enjoy some ice cream while doing this!

(2) Take a long bath.  Make it aromatherapy and add your favorite oil.  Pop in your favorite cd to add to your relaxation.  And don’t be afraid to put your head under the water!

(1)  Call a friend and talk for hours.  Share what has been going on in your life and seek advice.  And don’t forget to laugh and drop the phone and pick it back up and laugh some more! 😉