Rejection is a language in itself. Initially it speaks hurt and devastation. Eventually it presents doubt and causes one to stop the process or the detour the journey they are on. Every artist is told something to the tune of, “rejection is a part of the game.” But there are no courses or free therapy sessions to instruct you what do to with the emotions, fear of trying and trauma that tag along with repeated rejection.
What I am witness to now is that the repeated process will produce. Like the watering of a plant, it is done with intent. You touch the soil to check for dampness, to determine how much water is needed for that day. You trim the dead edges of the leaves, you turn the plant to face the sun and eventually the plant grows to it’s potential. While it is done consciously, it is for the plant to stay alive not necessarily to grow. This is the same with artists. The acts of our creativity keep us alive and with that continued process of creating, our art grows.
If I could talk to my 25 year old self, I would tell her to define all of the rejection she will experience in auditions and writing queries on her own terms. I would tell her that it does not mean to perfect the “plan B”, it simply means that was not the right job. Something better suited is coming down the pike through the continued process. I would tell her that what is hers will come specifically designed with her name on it.
So, this message is for me. I am definitely coming full circle with my dreams. I recently enrolled in an acting class to warm my technique back up. I am speaking into existence my return to the theatrical stage and I am beginning my process now.
So today is not about the colorful way in which we intend to do something. Just DO
You planned today through actions and thoughts in your yesterday’s. If you didn’t like how the day went today, change your mind.
Well, 2015 is wrapping up here folks and there are some things I want to share along my many discoveries and self reflections. Here we go:
- The power of blogging. – Blogging has to be better than buying a website these days! Blogging is like your own personal newspaper or public journal that links you to like minds. The connections I have met on wordpress have culminated into several speaking engagements and book sales around the world. Unlike social media sites, a blog requires work. You have to put in a decent and consistent amount of writing time and you must network with the audience you are trying to reach. Building this comradery can yield amazing results! Your Facebook friends/followers WILL NOT SUPPORT your work on a level that allows you to pay a bill or two.
- The saying, “Write what scares you” is true. – You take a chance with ordering a new dish at a restaurant. You take a chance in new relationships. So take a chance with writing the stories you are afraid to be linked to. The subject matter of my novel, The Town Dance, has frightened me for years. At readings, I speak about what I had to confront on a personal level for me to write characters with depth and meaning. Characters that ‘belonged’ in the story and not just placed there to move the chapters forward. The Town Dance has had an amazing year! In addition, my play, Hope’s Return, handles the subject matter of women in the military, a crime committed on base, the government cover-up and a small town African American family dealing with the mental illness of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I took a chance with this material and it has paid off as big as I had imagined in my dreams.
- I like living in Atlanta. I must admit, it took over six years for it to happen but there are a lot of opportunities in the arts. Perhaps in the sense that there is still work that needs to be done for diversity within nationalities, gender and age. (then again, that’s probably everywhere!) The art funding is definitely geared toward younger poets who are taught slam poetry and older Caucasian writers. The quote, “It’s not where you’re from, it’s where you’re art”, took me a looooong time to accept that. But over the past 13-15 months I have grown to like Atlanta.
- Acknowledgement of women writers still needs to be written in art and historical culture/documentation. Even the critical and independent male thinking minds are blind to this, or conveniently accept this part of patriarchy. A recent example I saw of this, there was a Black Lives Matter banner created that spelled out the names of the victims fallen from murder by the hands of the police and only one woman was listed. Instead of researching women to include, the list repeated with the male names.
- African American art is viewed as sociology or psychology instead of art. Instead of being asked on various creative decisions I made for my art, I was asked questions like, “is this due to your community?” “is this a result of your upbringing?” After reading more on the basic history of African American literature in western culture, the sensitivity of critique or criticism is still not where it should be as the literary giants before me have written the same observances.
- There is a desperate need for black book stores for all of the above reasons.
- There is a desperate need for African American book review groups/circles for all the above reasons. (Story Sellers Book Reviews coming soon!)
- The personal positivity movement has turned into a sensationalistic movement that is cultivating a strew of motivational speakers and life coaches. It is imperative for people to understand that avoiding or becoming addicted to a fantasy life of no turmoil stunts growth. In addition, naming life’s detours ‘negativity’ instead of lessons and self reflection stops/halts life.
- Ph.D’s do not hold the same creed they once did. Experience and activism can get you on the same panel discussions as PhD’s and persons in academia. In fact, trust is built through personal testimony versus book study (new age wave expectations); same as travel expert equals trusted experience. I believe their in depth studies are still imperative but the panels and workshops I observed over the past year in regards to art activism and community social activism had very few PhDs.
- The poetry audience is gone. No matter where I traveled, the audience was a unanimous crowd of other poets. The study of poetry 101 has been replaced with being a champion or being on a ‘winning team’. Poetry is seen as entertainment instead of art. In my opinion, the communication aspect is absent from the art form and it is a strategic political move.
Continue reading 20 observances i’m taking into 2016