My father died in February. Around the 22nd or so. I purposely misplaced the obituary and forgot the date. It was the year 2008 or 2009. It was such a blur but I know I was living in Atlanta at the time.
He was my biggest fan but I didn’t know. He was consistent with inconsistency. Or maybe it’s “we” were consistent with inconsistency. But usually the child is allowed to blame the parent so I said “he”. We weren’t consistent like the hurricanes that you expect every year. We were more like tornadoes in the south. It can happen but it would be a surprise. Except we never made the news. Not together at least. So that was the weather of our relationship.
I called in December, around the holidays cause that’s what you’re supposed to do. His girlfriend answered and told me he was dying. They had given him a few months to live. He told me he was dying a few years before that, so I kind of didn’t believe her. I can’t remember where he was or why she answered the phone. But then he picked up and said, “hello”.
Continue reading the memories in February
My mother taught me how to make a living.
My father showed me how to create a life to live.
She was deemed responsible.
He was deemed selfish.
… I want to be selfishly responsible from here on out.
40 Words of Wisdom Every Parent Needs to Give Their Child
“How dare I resent the man who taught me how to pray when I know people who never had a father in the first place, so thank you.”
“My papa was never a rolling stone / my papa’s a firm rock that stayed in our home.”
“I was raised on stories of return and that hope is still alive in my father’s eyes.”
“I had fears of picking up my son, I thought my hands were too rough and I would scratch him but my fears had to go.”
“Don’t just lend them your name / give them the gristle at the end of your bone!
reveal your scars and your tears / hide your prayers inside their lunch” – Conney Williams
Enjoy this poetry video post featuring the words from a Los Angeles literary legend,
From the poetry cd, “unsettled water”.
If you are in the Los Angeles area, support Conney at his release party, May 8th 6:30 pm at Vibrations, 2435 Manchester Blvd in Inglewood!
Please visit www.conneywilliams.com