for many of us, there is a desire to be unhappy. we welcome toxic relationships, hoping to one day “fix” them. we accept the invitations to unhealthy discussions, hoping they’ll “see” things our way. we fall to the bottom of our list of priorities as if, somehow, taking care of everything and everyone else first will complete us.
WRONG, Sista! there is no such thing as a self-sacrificing Shero. you don’t have to be a martyr to be a marker.
a Shero knows when it’s time to say, “I’d love to, but I can’t.” affirms herself when those twangs of guilt (after saying, “no”) begin to twinge. goes on a date night instead of heading to a Scandal watch party (and I’m, a Gladiator, so don’t trip!).
Continue reading what a Shero knows by Proverbs
“This is not just a commemoration or celebration, it is a continuation.”
Reverend Al Sharpton, March 8, 2015 – Brown Chapel in Selma, Alabama
Fifty years seems like so long ago. But as long as my mother and her siblings are alive, I must consider it to be this lifetime. It is still this lifetime as long as we still have provisions that need reauthorization by law officials for all racial minorities to vote fairly. Today, fifty years can be five years ago or easily five nights ago. March 7, 1965, or Bloody Sunday, is the day I imagine they went home and re-thought this demonstration and protest lifestyle. Perhaps some quit while others said, ‘I won’t stop until I have the right to vote and walk this bridge without being harassed.’ And that night, just as Nat Turner saw it written in the sky years earlier, all of their dreams and all of their wishes were of me. Of us. What are we going to do? Continue reading CCC (Commemorate, Celebrate, Continue)
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.
Somewhere in this road of life, I picked up the notion that everyday I would be presented with problems and my day would be based on “how I handled it.” So every morning I expected some type of grief. It was an anticipation I would stir into my coffee and sometime initiate on the drive to work. Or maybe I waited to start the “problem” while standing in line for the elevator at work. Or maybe I waited until lunch and picked the longest line to get in so I could mean mug the cashier when I got to the front and make her my daily “problem”. This theory could’ve been passed on to me during school problem solving, conflict/resolution discussions from the bible during Sunday school or my mother. But I inherently did not grow up thinking life would be beautifully handed to me everyday.
Changing this behavior has to be part of my everyday routine now. I have to consciously remind myself that I deserve goodness and the universe will align with my mentality daily. I have to remind myself:
You don’t get what you want, you get what you expect.
Change your expectations today! Accept and expect greatness! Have an amazing day!
from the root? from perception? from the experience? when does sugar become sweet?
For me it is from the experience. And it is probably this for most others since we are not physically sugar canes. Be that, when does art become good? When is a love affair over? When is enough enough? When am I a bad parent?
These are all boundaries I have created for myself. My own little box I keep painted and maintained to look like my body with smooth brown skin. Perhaps like my mother felt when rearing my sister, brother and I, she was doing the best she could. She was doing what she knew and felt best at that time. And at times her decisions were based on her personal needs and I encountered moments of disappointment. However, what made me feel this way? The root, the perception or the experience?
It is all.
My oldest niece lives with associate disorder. (I have accepted this is the nice way of saying early stages of schizophrenia.) She dissociates herself with authority. She is bold and impulsive and therefore dissociates herself with effect. I am her guardian and have experienced bouts of fear and anger and sadness with this realization. Even though my sweetheart is an honor roll student in middle school, she does not understand these conversations I have with her. I can tell by the narrowing of her eyes. She just knows she is being scolded for “something”. When does her sugar become sweet? At her root? Her perception? Her experience? Is there truly an impact for her to acquaint with when she, like everyone else, is simply living out her karma?
Fear is the unknown. And like any parent, I send myself in frenzied panic attacks over her future. But when free from ostentation, I can empty my mind and live with her sugar being sweet under all three possibilities. Therefore declaring her a whole person.
Just as your favorite song subscribes you to a composition
synched with metered rhyme and breath meditative like fire chants
the art was on purpose and propaganda.
don’t be mistaken or fooled by a joker.
you have been allowed to walk and write within the words of yesterday’s scribes.
Dream makers sculpted you landowners and entrepreneurs,
educators and world travelers,
…If we have to live within the words we write
what does tomorrow look like?
and can our children survive without us?
For the first time this year I created a vision board. I have known of them for years and have several friends who have used them in the past but I always thought having it in my head was good enough. And it is good enough, but I must say looking at those words and images on a daily basis has changed my tone and purpose of my intentions.
(not my board)
Continue reading Imagine Yourself Here…
growing up, I always saw these as wishes… I still do.
Something is better than nothing, right?
This is one of those statements that need to be eradicated from culture! NO! Something is not better than nothing! This statement keeps us from our highest potential. This statement has been a crutch for mediocrity and a grand contradiction in the education of families and the progression of communities. Such unconscious statements have survived our families and we keep them relative without actualizing the potential danger.
Continue reading Aim Higher! (take what you can?…)
For real though! If this is what you are whispering to a friend, KEEP ON LOOKING FOR THAT PROFESSION OF WHAT YOU LOVE! You know where you should look?
You can smile in the face of opposition when you know they are simply there because of a prayer being manifested. And the yang of the situation is whatever their mission is. When you remove yourself, detach from emotions, this very moment is what you asked for. It is what you have imagined in your head, it is what you need.
I announced months ago to friends and family that I would be leaving the field of executive management. In my journal I write what I want, I meditate these words to white candles and at the gym on the stair climber I imagine what I want. I have to accept everything that appears in my life from this moment forward is needed to get me there. Perhaps it will serve me as food or maybe a tack that stuck my in the side to help me later post a reminder message to myself. Right now, it has come in the form of another manager on her journey and ours have crossed.
She stands around 5’8 with horribly applied eye makeup. Hair to no particular season or fashion. We’ll call her Ms. Eyeliner. Ms. Eyeliner can be labeled as a control freak or even incredibly insecure. She is known to be vindictive. She leaves her family every week to work with a group of women who could care less of her conversation or existence. And she has it out for me. Or does she? In the moment of things, emotions attached, one can concretely feel this way and express it. In silence I wonder if my father sent her?
Continue reading She Isn’t Who Appears