as parents

parents – (n) The hardest working person in the universe.

We can see beyond horizons and be as blind as bats.

We can hear as keen as owls and be as deaf as a day gone.

We can be energetically defeated.

parenting – (v) The hardest job in the universe.

I dare to say our most imminent goal is to ensure our children can live successful independent lives. And to make sure that goal stays in the forefront of our mind, we will do what we must. That includes perfect vision in a forest and closing our eyes in the light. As long as the goal is protected.

That is how I try to reach the parents of my students. Some of them have a spry and transparent engagement with the social and educational growth of their child. But the majority are only proactive towards their counsel to teachers on their personal goal and avoid any reactionary response on classroom feedback that does not comply with the said goal.

parenting

As a parent, I have had uncomfortable conversations in regards to the behavior of my three. And some have been the embarrassing repeated behaviors of “overly social”, “running in the hall” or “incomplete assignments.¬† I had to grow into a position with my parenting to concede that, the same behavior I correct them with at home, is the same tone they exhibit with other adults. So when I get phone calls and reports that my youngest, who only stops talking when she is sleep, is “overly social” in class, I believe it. I’m not sure what it is that shapes in parents heads that their child’s calamity somehow stops the second they enter the school building. If your child is flipping furniture at home, there is a 90.9% chance you child will come into the classroom and do the same.

At this point I can empathize. Because it is at this intersection that the personal goal begins to get tangled. We consider this a direct threat and can become defensive. I get it! But this is also where the number one relationship factor comes into play. Trust. Don’t have your child in a school or classroom where you don’t trust administration or the teacher. With that, if you do trust the teacher, believe that they want to help in being a stepping stone for developing your child’s social and educational growth.

In a trusting relationship, you have to have honest conversations. If the teacher contacts you four days of the week to inform you of ill behavior, and you child does the EXACT same thing at home, don’t resist. Partner with the teacher, let them in on your plan. We are not the enemy! (and please keep this aligned with a teacher you have trust with) Denial will definitely distract you from progression. Pointing blame will also distract progression. Your child interacting with other’s their age tells the most important story. I personally consider it a guide on whether or not I can loosen or tighten the direction. It lets me know when they are learning lessons and when I need to change the language for them to better understand.

Teachers are not babysitters! We need your full cooperation and understanding so we can reinforce routine and discipline in their lives. If your child is aggressive with teachers, your child is aggressive with you at home. And for your sanity and self-care, you should expeditiously come to terms with an alternate life plan. Especially if you have a plan where your child is perfect and and can do no wrong. Don’t let embarrassment and ego supersede the ultimate goal for your child’s educational success.

I know we are living in the “I” society now and in my opinion the power is in “we”. I have seen the most growth in students when parents partner with the teachers, and administration, and adopt the “it takes a village” motto. Building relationships with people you trust can instill a lot of values in your child and it makes this journey more fun. Most importantly, it keeps the goal in mind and you focused.

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Don’t let your child stand in the cold.

parents – (n) The hardest working person in the universe.

parenting – (v) The hardest job in the universe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “as parents”

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