AUTHOR’S NOTES from the novel, The Town Dance
Almost 15 years ago, I worked the front desk at a company, with another woman, as the assistants to the director. We both knew this was a passing job for us so we formed a bond and created a friendship through recapping our favorite television shows from the night before, bringing in leftovers and sharing recipes, covering when the other was going to be late for work and of course discussions on relationships. She almost immediately shared with me she was gay, yet we found what we had in common and became friends. One Monday, while enjoying our coffee and getting the office ready for business, we shared our mutual relationship updates from the weekend and she shared something she immediately regretted.
She told me she had been with her girlfriend and before she could stop the words she said, “I told her no, I did, but she’s so strong.” I stopped what I was doing to ask her for clarification but when our eyes met, her stare was already frozen in time. Even though it was a quick 3-5 second glare, her eyes told me an entire conversation she did not want to have. I heard her correct. I heard her say, “I told her no, I did.” From previous discussions I knew they used sex toys and she said shared with me once that her girlfriend, “hurts her” during intercourse. But this time, there was not going to be a discussion. Her words did an accidental escape and her expression was a mixture of frightened, embarrassed and please don’t make me repeat it. She turned towards her computer and the morning went by unusually quiet. We started speaking again just in time for our lunch break and we routinely ordered the Monday special from the diner across the street, tuna melts on rye bread.
I had this plummeting feel in my stomach all day. I was angry, very angry at her girlfriend for hurting her. I was annoyed I didn’t have the courage to gather words of support. And I felt so powerless. Who else was she going to tell that her girlfriend raped her? Her mother and sisters didn’t accept her life and her choice in a partner alienated her from a lot of her friends. The closest we every spoke about it again was when she broke up with her a few weeks later. She gave an awkward smile and said, “Now that’s a story for you!” But that story would take some years for me to write. I had to get to a place where I no longer needed permission from my fears to write it.
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I know… interesting right?… True story that took me almost 15 years to get comfortable enough to write. She and I are still friends and even after her knowing I finally turned those emotions I felt into a novel, we have not discussed “it”.
Based on real emotions I never forgot. The Town Dance, a novel…
You can pre-order from Kindle at
The Town Dance on Kindle
or, pre-order your autographed paperback copy at *(unfortunately, I am not shipping internationally at this time)*
Autographed paperback of The Town Dance
**A link to order directly from Amazon will be available next week**
Nikki Skies 
Wow that’s very interesting and an an emotional author you turned it into a book. When I get my finances settled I’d take a trip with your book.
Wow! Some perspective. Rape in gay kingdom. I never would have imagined.
And because no one imagines it or thinks of it, it goes unreported. My friend was one of them.
Sad.
Sad story, but any ‘bad faith’ in the Sartrean sense of the expression in her narration?
Honored just to read your work. Real talk. Such an inspiration. You’re unhindered and that’s precious.
You know what? If we don’t write the tone of our voice, we will forever be chasing our tails by writing rebuttals of misrepresentation. Let’s go! 🙂
AMEN!
Hey Nikki! I’d love to purchase a copy of your novel- hoping you’ll reconsider international shipments, as I haven’t got into e-books : ) Oh, I guess I can just purchase from Amazon instead?
Touching. Such things need to be more out in the open. I hope your friend is doing okay 🙂 And I’m looking forward to reading your novel.
Life continued. She’s still as vibrant and loving as she was when we first met! She never reported her crime, she says this book is her story.
Force, it is throughout all of our human interactions. We don’t see it because we don’t wish to. Thank you for this reminder. I am waiting for your Amazon link.
Abuse in heterosexual relationships is easier to imagine, I would never have thought that this things happen in gay relationships too.