learning audacity

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(my autographed copy of “The Collected Poetry of Nikki Giovanni”)

I was introduced to Nikki Giovanni through the poem, “Ego Tripping”

“I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal
I cannot be comprehended
except by my permission”

“I sowed diamonds in my back yard
My bowels deliver uranium
the filings from my fingernails are
semi-precious jewels”

I was maybe a senior in high school when I found Giovanni through this poem at my local library. And I remember the embarrassed feeling I got after I read the poem. I thought…”who is this woman bragging on herself?” “who does she think she is to be referencing herself a Queen and being the mother to Hannibal and Noah?” I remember it felt great but it was also foreign. I almost didn’t want to be caught reading it.

What I realize now is that may have been my first time being introduced to an African American feminine narrative.
The poem wasn’t about doors or boats from Robert Frost.
The poem wasn’t about hope and feathers from Emily Dickinson.
It wasn’t the blues from Langston Hughes.
It wasn’t Walt Whitman or Anne Sexton or Paul Lawrence Dunbar…
or my beloved Maya Angelou and her Caged Bird…

Nikki Giovanni was the first time I read an African American woman refer to herself as beautiful and being directly connected to all things beautiful in the art world of poetry.

I remembering sitting on the floor in the middle of the aisle at the library and reading the poems in her book and imagining a Tennessee cloud looking like cotton candy… women being judged for the length of their Sunday school dresses… summer love… and even to this day when someone mentions her name… it makes me smile and remember meeting her in the library that afternoon.

When I walked across the Pettus Bridge in Selma for the 50th anniversary earlier this year, Rev. Al Sharpton said something in a sermon that struck a cord with me. He said, “We praise our dead and condemn the living.” It made me want to acknowledge everyone that has served as inspiration to me before they left this planet!

So today, I acknowledge Nikki Giovanni! I speak her name for inspiring me and making me feel so embarrassingly, wonderful and warm about myself one afternoon at the library πŸ™‚ The audacity of learning from poetry!

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13 thoughts on “learning audacity”

  1. Very beautiful story. One I wish more of our beautiful black women could share, whether it be finding it from a book, a gentleman, or even if they notice themselves in a mirror.

    Its amazing to know how uncomfortable women can be to see that they are actually beautiful. Thanks for this post. I appreciate very much.

    1. Agreed. We’re taught to not to be too proud. Recognizing our strengths and being confident is viewed as conceit! Love Nikki for being raw and real and giving us a positive voice.

  2. Hi Nikki. Your birthday tributes to Nikki Giovanni were wonderful and reminded me of my own introduction to her works. In addition to one of her books, I also bought an album she recorded. Going through my archives now, trying to find it. I love your poems too.

  3. When we hear positive and uplifting words from and about people that we are connected to it strengthens and enlightens us. So many of our stories were ignored, marginalized or demeaned. When my space was opened up to receive the stories, I felt empowered, loved and strengthened. Thank you for sharing your connection with this legendary writer.

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