Years ago, when I began to read about the ancient African science of yoga and study Buddhism, there were exercises I practiced to silence my inner chatter. I remember two of these exercises specifically. One being to smile at everyone I come in contact with and the other was to give compliments. I remember being hesitant on doing these because I didn’t want to be looked at as ‘weird’ and because up until that point I felt like people needed to earn my trust or friendly demeanor. My inner chatter told me that I have to put someone through the fire to share in my happiness and I had to struggle with them on almost every emotional realm before I could enjoy them. Wow! What was I thinking?
At the time, I was working at a bank in downtown Los Angeles. On a daily basis, I came in contact with high profile persons with only a short amount of time to do business. They were usually very canalized with stern body language and no eye contact. No matter how good of a work out at the gym I had the day before or the healthy meal I cooked the night before, after eight hours of discourteous interaction, I would behave the same way. I would initiate road rage! I created stress as soon as I left the office! I would run to the elevator and stand by the control panel to be the first one out so I could beat the traffic coming out of the parking garage. When I finally calmed down in the evening to write or bring out my creative side, it was time for me to go to bed and start the madness all over again.
When I did the smile exercise, I began it when driving to work. While sitting in traffic on the 101 south freeway, I would look to the car next to me and smile. Of course initially they didn’t smile back and would drive away as soon as they could. What made this interesting was if our cars met again in the same traffic jam, they would look over to me again to see if I would smile again. I would and some would either smile back or quickly divert their head in the opposite direction. Similar stories can be said for the clients I came in contact with over the course of the day. As soon as they came into my office I would smile and maintain it the entire time I was processing their transaction. Very few would smile back but there was always some type of “friendlier” acknowledgement before they left. Like a tap on the desk as they said bye or simple eye contact when they knew their time with me was almost over. Me changing my vibration made all the difference needed.
This simple exercise helped me look into changing my mind mob psychology that told me I always had to fight or struggle to be happy. Perhaps a learned behavior from my family or community. But being happy and smiling is my true expression and that expression allows me to be an individual. The lesson behind all the self help books on freedom and self expression or spirituality are all sublimed with expressing as an individual outside of group thought or societal accepted expression. Not belonging to a set but living the creed of being “all and a part of everything”. Consistency and contradiction. The goal is to be free or rid of the mob! The mob being the concept of there being a collective thought or way of doing things.
Going into the fall season that inevitably brings about cyclical changes is what brought about these thoughts. The changes I am experiencing as a parent, business woman and artist are overwhelming. I am asking for a lot, I’ve prepared for a lot and I am being prepared for all of it. Mind mob encourages fear and dependency. I guess you can call me the crime boss because I’m fighting it with full force!